Stephen

Where do I even begin with this?! Hmm... 

Do you know, the saying that people say, "When you met the one, you will know."? Well I always thought it was a load of rubbish! How could you possibly know that, especially right away?!

Well when I met Stephen, that saying became true! I fell for him completely and almost right away. 

Stephen and I dated for a while before making it "official". He made sure that every date we had or have feels like it's the first one all over again. He's actually very romantic and always gives me that 'butterfly' feeling, even now nearly 2 years on. I always feel looked after and safe by him. 

I have never met anyone like Stephen before. He just seemed to make everything better. Stephen is always there for me, through the bad times as much as the good times and has never let me down. Not once! He always knows how to make me laugh even when I don't feel up to laughing or smiling. I know that he would do anything for both me and my son, Jamie. 

Without Stephen, I really don't know where I would be. He supports me with all of my health issues and helps to keep me motivated when I want to do something. (Like University.) I always thought that I wasn't good enough to even apply for university but with Stephen's support and LOTS of kind words from him, I went for it, and I was wrong. (I'm off to do Psychology and Maths in September!)

I am honestly so proud of everything that Stephen has done, continues to do, and I will be so proud of the things that he will do in the future. He continues to work so hard and is just the perfect role model for Jamie. His whole family have even made sure that Jamie is included in everything too. He was spoiled at Christmas time, as much as their own family were. Stephen's Mum, Linda, has been an angel in helping me with sooooo many problems, worries, and dilemma's. (Poor woman! 🙈)

The only things that are really annoying about Stephen is that 1, he LOVES to wind me up and 2, the pet names he has for me. I've been called 'CaleyBear', 'CaleyDragon' (when I've felt angry 😅), 'CaleyChicken' and the most recent - 'Possum!'.... don't ask.... 😂😆

Stephen is someone I 100% trust with my life. Hence why we are getting married! 👰🤵💖

After only about 8 months together, Stephen proposed with the most beautiful ring! Of course I said YES! It felt like the right time to do get engaged. We loved each other and wanted to settle down. 

We are still currently planning our wedding and are due to get married in September of this year. Only 11 weeks to go.... 😲

I can NOT wait to marry my best friend. I can't wait to see his face when he sees me walking down the aisle towards him. I can't wait to show off my amazing new husband to everyone. I'm so looking forward to having the best day, surrounded by my friends and family. I also can't wait to see everyone dressed up!

There are so many things I ould say about Stephen but I'd be here forever! I just feel so lucky, so blessed and so happy to have such a wonderful, caring, supportive, funny, gorgeous, man in my life. He really is everything to me. (but see if i hear "I have a PhD" from him again, I'll cry 😂)

  

Look out for the wedding blog post in September...

Caley 💜

** All images are my own **

Being A Young Mum

Hi everyone,

For this blog post, I decided to get a little personal and to talk about being a young Mum.

(This picture was taken when Jamie was trying to fish whilst using a stick. 😁)

You know what people say, "Parenting is the hardest job you will ever have." This statement is 100% true!

(Jamie meeting a Minion from Despicable Me, when we went to Banff, [Scotland] 🍌)

I was so young when I had Jamie and trying to juggle parenting, work, and also college just seemed so stressful at the time. I had to do everything I could to make sure we had a home, food, and that our bills were paid on time. Going out with Jamie in his pram was tough at times. People thought I was his sister or baby sitter! I would always be polite and tell people that I was his Mum. For some people, this wasn't a good thing. "Oh! You're too young to be this boy's mother!" (Nobody ever asked my age. They just judged me on how I looked.) Other people would ask "Is your husband working today?" When I explained that I wasn't married, people would literally TUT at me! It made me feel ashamed sometimes and other times very anxious. 

(We love visiting Build-A-Bear. The visit shown above was a reward for Jamie when he got 'Star Of The Week' at nursery 🐻⭐)

For most of Jamie's life, I have been a single parent, who had help from family, whilst being at college. Again the negative Nancy's would comment, "You're neglecting him by being at college all the time" or I'd get "You need to work to earn money to feed your child, what is college going to do for you?" (Hmm... give me a better career maybe?)

(Play-Doh was always a great idea when it was raining. Jamie loves playing with his Play-Doh and creating lots of different things. He loved to make Pizza, or snakes the most. 🍕🐍)

The thing is, I would be home every day to take care of Jamie and then the next morning I would go to college and get on with assessments, folio's and work placements and everything else. I couldn't please everyone. I knew deep down that I was doing the right thing. I made sure my son was getting an education and also myself. I worked hard non-stop and had so many late nights because I had taken Jamie out to the park and sometimes this would cut into my "study time". Spending time with Jamie was more important to me because my child will never be that age again and I wanted to enjoy every minute of it. I could always apply for a college but I wouldn't ever get the time with my son back. 

(Jamie brought this home to me one day after nursery and I could have cried. I thought it was just the sweetest gift ever! |I loved it when Jamie would come home from nursery with things that he had made. They had more meaning to something that may have be bought. I still have most of the things that he has made for me over the years 💗)

"It's worth it in the end" I would always tell myself. Jamie kept me going through it all. I knew that I was doing this all for him, for me, for us! I wanted to give us a better life and have a good career and to work hard at the thing I knew that I was good at. I wanted to show Jamie that with hard work and determination, you can do anything. 

("The Dreaded Stairs" Jamie and I call these 😂. Every year, during the summer, Jamie and I always go to Edinburgh. We love the city and there is always so much to do. We love seeing the different street performers during the Edinburgh Fringe. 🌆)

Jamie and I have so many memories that I will cherish forever. I'm kind of glad, in a way, that it was just me and him and that we have so many happy and very funny memories together. 

(Another favourite activity was putting on old clothes and painting outside. Jamie and I love being messy with paint and Jamie loves mixing the colours and seeing what new colours he could make. 🖌)

Being a young mum hasn't really been a bad thing to be honest. It just means I got to meet Jamie a little sooner. Having Jamie has actually taught me a lot. I don't just mean in parenting, I mean just how to be a better person in general. I can now put myself into other people's shoes and imagine how things may be for them. I try my best not to judge other people and to also accept people for who they are as we are all different and beautiful. I looked at life differently and try not to take everything too seriously. 

(This was another time during the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. I didn't notice at first but we had matching Lacoste shoes on. 👟)

As hard as it is, I have loved being a Mum since day 1. I have this little human being in my life who I wouldn't change for the world. My love for him is just.... I can't put it into words. I just love him so much. I'm sure I'll have more to share about Jamie in the future as he is such as a kind, caring, hilarious, clever, and amazing son. The best one I could have ever wished for. He means the absolute world to me and I feel so blessed to be his Mum. 

Caley 💜

My Favourites..

Hey Guys,

For my last blog post, I asked friends to submit questions to me for to answer. A lot of the questions were "What is your favourite...?" I had so many of them so I thought that by having a whole page of my own personal favourites then it would all be in the one place.

So here is a list of my favourites...

• Book - Obviously anything to do with Harry Potter! I love the Chamber of Secrets the best! 📘 (I am a Ravenclaw according to Pottermore: https://www.pottermore.com/)

• Song - My favourite song to listen to at the moment is 'Mother's Daughter' by Miley Cyrus 

• Place - Either at home or Edinburgh! 🏰

• Colour - Pink, Purple and Yellow! 💗💜💛

• Album - 'In the Zone',and 'Blackout' - both by Britney Spears 💃

• Netflix Series - Riverdale 🐍

• Tv Show - The Ellen DeGeneres Show 📺

• Alcoholic Drink - Woo Woo or S.O.T.B 🍹

• Food - Nachos, Pasta and Chocolate 🍫

• Holiday/Vacation - Salou, Spain (so far....) 👙🌞

• Breed of Dog (who asked this?! Haha) - Chihuahua or Dachshund (I'm terrified of big dogs!) 🐕

• Hobby - Learning to do Make-Up 💄

• Character - Agnes from Despicable Me (she is my spirit animal. "It's so fluffy. I'm gonna die!) 🦄

• Season - Summer 🌞

• Favourite Things About Your Partner, Stephen - His intelligence, humour, kindness, support, and his company 🤓💡

Thanks for reading,

Caley 💜

Questions From Friends

Hi Guys,

For this next blog post, I asked my friends to give me questions (some were very random, others very deep! haha! 😆) and then I would answer them on here. 

It's just for fun...

"Where do you think you will be living in 5 years time?"

Answer: I don't think it really matters on what location you will be living in, I think the most important thing is that you are happy living where you are and that your family are also happy. Personally though, Linlithgow has always made me feel "at home". It's were I grew up and have most of my happy memories. I have met so many amazing people who are still there and I would move back in a heart beat.

"What is your favourite animal?"

Answer: Anyone who knows me will know how much I love animals, even the ones I'm scared of. My top three animals would have to be a Giraffe, Lemur and also Raccoons. (I love their little hands and they are just so cute 😁!) but then I also love my two cats! They are my little fur babies 😺😺

"If you could learn to play any musical instrument what would it be?"

Answer: I would love to be able to play the piano. It seems quite tricky and also reading music isn't something I'm good at - YET! But it's something I would love to do in the future. 

"Do you see yourself having any more children in the future?

Answer: I always say "never say never" but after I'm married, who knows? I don't know what's in store for me later on in life. If any more children do come along then I would be really happy with that. I feel blessed to have my little Jamie 😁 

"What are your favourite Disney movies?"

Answer: I have SO many but some of them would have to be: Finding Dory, Mulan, Toy Story, The Lion King, Pocahontas, Beauty and The Beast, Monsters INC, and The Aristocats" 

"What does a balanced life look like to you?"

Answer: (I actually had so many answers to this question and typed and then re-typed my answer over and over again).

I guess a balanced life would be working in a job that you enjoy and then coming home to your family in a house that is your home not just a roof over your head. I think that by being happy and healthy also helps. Planning holidays for you and your family to enjoy, going out at the weekends etc. Having a good routine. Also keeping on top of bills too would help to keep things balanced. One last thing would be to make sure that, although you can make plans to relax and enjoy outings/holidays with friends/family, always make sure you make time for you. You are also important and by having some "me time", whether that be reading, walking, shopping, going for coffee try to make the time so that you can just enjoy where you are in life. 

"If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?"

Answer: I would love to travel the world if I wasn't so afraid of flying. There are so many places I would love to visit. Some of them would have to be The Maldives, Paris, Los Angeles, New York, Florida, London, Rome, Venice, Amsterdam, and even Australia/New Zealand. I have heard the have HUGE spiders so I'd have to be protected 😂

"What are your hobbies?"

Answer: I actually have some very weird and interesting hobbies but also "normal" ones too. I love following make up artists and learning new tips on how to do lots of different make up looks. I have an interest in history and love reading about or watching documentaries on the Kings or Queens of Britain. King Henry VIII (8th), Mary Queen of Scots, and also Queen Victoria are my favourites to read about. I love creative writing too and have enjoyed this since I was little. I love to read, and listen to music too. My favourite hobby though is spending time with friends/family. It always helps to cheer me up. 

"You are having a dinner party and you are allowed to invite 5 celebrities. Who do you choose and why?"

Answer: Again, this was quite difficult. I would absolutely LOVE to invite Ellen DeGeneres. She is hilarious and I have watched her show since I was a teenager. I'm now 26! Ellen is so kind to other people and does a lot to help improve the LGBT community worldwide! 🌈 I would also love to invite Britney Spears. Britney has been my favourite singer since 1998. She is so sweet and funny and having her would just be a dream! I would then invite both Barack and Michelle Obama. Barack and Michelle are the perfect role models for people of any age and are always kind and supportive to people regardless of that persons background and they also seem quite fun. My last guest would have to be ..... Russell Howard. Another amazing comedian. He never fails to make me laugh! His show 'Russell Howards's Good News' is a must watch! His Netflix show 'Recalibrate' is as funny as it was the first time you watched it. It would be good to have him there and to ask his views on certain things as he's very open when talking about the issues we face in Britain. (Such as Brexit, or the Prime Minister) .... I know I have alreay chosen 5 but say one didn't turn up ... 😂 ... I would invite the Queen. I just love her and how sweet and funny she is even in her 90's. I would be fascinated by her! 👑

"What Make-Up product can't you live without at the moment?"

Answer: I am absolutely loving the 'Photo Finish, Smooth & Blur Primer' from Smashbox. The primer is a smooth kind of gel that is so easy to apply and doesn't leave your face feeling sticky like other brands. This amazing primer helps to make your make up last all day, and when I used it on my own face, it helped to smooth out my face by dealing with the pores! The primer can be used on all skin types. I have dry and sometimes quite oily skin and this still works perfect .... aaaaaand..... it's also cruelty free (so no animals were harmed or tested on, this is very important to me!) and it's also vegan! Here is a link in case anyone would like to try it: https://www.smashbox.co.uk/product/6038/18502/face/primer/photo-finish-foundation-primer#/shade/CLEAR 

"What is your favourite city in Scotland?"

Answer: This is an easy one! Edinburgh! Didn't even have to think about it! I love Edinburgh so much. It always has a "welcome home" kind of feeling. Everyone there is just so lovely. I love the Royal Mile. There is so much history and even mysteries! I love it. Edinburgh has so much to offer. It's just so beautiful  and has a great atmosphere. Some of my favourite things to do there are: 

• Edinburgh Castle: https://www.edinburghcastle.scot/ 
• Camera Obscura and World of Illusions: https://www.camera-obscura.co.uk/ 
• Mary King's Close: https://www.realmarykingsclose.com/ 
• Dynamic Earth: https://www.dynamicearth.co.uk/ 

I haven't been to these in Edinburgh yet but they are definitely on my To-Do list:

• Maison De Moggy: https://www.maisondemoggy.com/ 
• Chihuahua Cafe: https://edinburghchihuahuacafe.co.uk/

Edinburgh is also known for 'The Fringe' which happens every year in August. It is the largest Arts festival in the world and there is something for everyone. There are street performers who are everywhere from Princes Gardens, to Grassmarket, to the Cow Gate, to The Royal Mile and even to The Castle. If you haven't been, then I would recommend that you visit as it's amazing! https://www.edfringe.com/

Thank you to everyone for their questions,

Caley 💜

When My Life Changed Forever - Part 2

Whilst playing Candy Crush (this game was so popular at the time, everyone was playing it) on Tuesday 7th May, around 11:30pm, I was on my last life before I had to wait the dreaded 4 hours for full lives to play the game, and I was getting so frustrated and angry (pregnant women are very hormonal!!) that I was literally ready for throwing my phone at the wall in my bedroom. I suddenly felt wet and I thought 'Great! I've not even had this baby yet and I've wet myself! *rolls eyes*' but I hadn't wet myself at all. My waters had broke.

Deep down I wanted to scream but I was scared. I had no pain at all when this happened. I stood up as I attempted to go and get help from someone else in the house but I was literally soaked and I couldn't move. I picked up my phone, and was so glad. Glad that I didn't throw it at the wall after all. I dialled my brothers number who was only next door in the living room, I had the downstairs bedroom in case you were wondering. When my brother Dean answered I demanded 'Get Mum! Hurry' and then I hung up. I then heard him go upstairs, slowly, and I thought 'Come on bloomin' move it!!' (I was feeling very impatient)

I waited on someone coming into my room for what felt like a life time. My mum, Donna, came in and looked a bit shocked. I just broke down and cried 'My waters have broke'. She stayed very calm, and picked up my phone to let the hospital know. I was then told to go in so that they could make sure I was okay. I was shaking with nerves. I didn't know what to expect. Nobody ever tells you what happens. On the way to the hospital the contractions started but they were bearable and by the time I got to the hospital they were a little sore but still I was mobile.

At the hospital I felt sick and very nervous. I didn't wait very long before I was taken into a room to be checked over. Long story short - I was sent home. I wasn't dilated enough, I wasn't in labour, so I had to wait until I was more dilated.

My mum and I had literally just got in the door when I started getting a little bit more sore. The bottom of my back was beginning to bother me. I headed straight to my room to lie down and my Mum came to lie beside me. Candy Crush kept me occupied (I think I may have been slightly obsessed with this). I didn't notice at the time but I was taking deep breaths every 10-20 minutes. Little did I know that my Mum was really paying attention to my breathing and these were the contractions that were happening. She was timing them and said 'I think we should phone the hospital and let them know' so as I spoke to the midwife on the phone I had another one and that was the worst one yet. I was asked to go back in, even though I was only there an hour before.

Once we had arrived at the hospital I was placed in a room with 3 other people. They were in early stages of labour too but I seemed to be in more pain. They looked so relaxed and all I could think about was 'How come they aren't this sore? Is something wrong with me'? There wasn't anything wrong with me. I was just at a further stage in labour than what they were. The worst thing about that room was that I didn't know the other 3 people. My mum wasn't allowed in until visiting hours which was at 8am. I had hours to go before I got to see her. I was terrified at this point. I was pacing up and down the room and out in the corridor and I remember constantly asking a nurse for pain killers. She said I couldn't have any and that I had to wait until later for more. ☹

7:55am appeared on the clock. 'Only 5 more minutes until Mum gets here' I reminded myself. 5 minutes felt like 5 hours. I still couldn't sit down as the pain was getting more severe. I had a birthing ball, its like a big bouncy ball that you get in the gym or at fitness classes, and as I couldn't get up on the bed I sat on the floor and used the birthing ball to hold myself up and to try and get comfortable.

8:02 was showing on the clock 'Oh, she's 2 minutes late. Where is she? Is she lost?' There was still no sign of my mum and I know it had just turned 8am but I really needed and wanted my Mum. No one else, just her. I tried to re-position myself on my birthing ball as I was no longer comfy and just as I managed to get in a perfect position all I heard was 'Alright? You okay?' I recognised the voice right away and it wasn't my Mum. It was J. My baby's Dad. I couldn't believe my eyes. But instead of saying something nice my reply was 'Okay?! OKAY?! See this?' I pointed towards my very heavily pregnant belly and the birthing ball and said 'This is all YOUR fault! YOU did this to me' Deep down I didn't mean to sound so cruel towards him. J did only ask if I was okay. He helped me up of the floor where I had been crawling around on for hours and carefully aided me onto the bed. I suddenly had this urge to push. My Mum went and got a midwife. She did a quick check to see how dilated and I was. She looked at my Mum and J and then looked at me and said 'It's time to go now' and she quickly went to get a wheelchair for me and I thought 'Great! Where am I being taken to now?'

As I was being aided around I heard babies crying, a woman screaming (I later found out that she was in labour), and a phone ringing. Everything seemed strange to me. I couldn't work out what was happening or where I was going until I saw a sign saying 'Labour Suite'. My legs turned to jelly as I knew that I was about to have my baby.

In my spacious room there was a big bed, lots of machine equipment, a sink, a little unit and an en suite bathroom. I was helped onto the bed and I felt even worse than before. The contractions were terrible so I was given gas and air to help relieve the pain. It certainly did it's job! I don't remember much about my labour due to taking the gas and air but without my Mum and J I couldn't have done any of it without them.

'Come on Caley. One last push! You're doing so well' encouraged the midwife. This was it, I was nearly done. As I pushed one last time I saw the midwife smile. I was so relieved that the labour was over. My Mum was grinning from ear to ear and J on the other side of me, had burst into tears and was so overcome with emotions. He said 'Well done. I'm so proud of you'. This made me smile but as I looked over to the midwife my smile quickly disappeared. I went into panic and I realised that my baby was silent. There was no screaming or crying to be heard from my baby. 'Why isn't the baby crying? What's wrong?' I asked in a panic. The midwife reassured me 'He's absolutely fine. I'm just giving him a wee clean and then he's all yours'. I felt better but then I went 'HE? I had a little boy' .

(picture taken from google images)

My son was placed on my chest and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He had these big blue eyes, a little button nose and teeny tiny hands. He still didn't cry but he seemed to love being cuddled and spoken to.


Wednesday, 8th May 2013, I felt like the luckiest person in the whole entire world. I loved him even more when I finally got to hold him.


J and I decided to name our baby Jamie.


Jamie was even more perfect than I could ever have imagined.

Caley 💜

When My Life Changed Forever - Part 1

It was the middle of September 2012. I had just started my first year at college and in one of my classes I started to feel really unwell. I felt very nauseous, tired, I didn't want to eat and I couldn't even look at food. I was crying one minute and happy the next and I didn't have a clue what was going on. A classmate said that I must have been coming down with something. So me being the big scaredy cat that I am didn't want to get unwell and made an appointment with my doctor.

Once there, days later, along with my younger sister Kerry, I had a good moan about how I was feeling. (To be honest, I felt quite sorry for myself. Ha! Ha!) My doctor asked me to lie down on the bed and he started pressing onto my stomach. 'What the heck is he bloody doing?' I thought. After much discomfort he asked to take a urine sample but at this point I genuinely had no idea what was going on but I did as he asked.

When I came back I looked at my sister Kerry as if to say 'Oh my goodness, this is quite worrying'. Kerry was only 7 at the time but I tried not to worry her. The doctor was quiet for a few moments, this felt like forever, but he sat back down at his busy desk and said 'So....that answers that question...' I must have looked so confused because he then said 'You are pregnant'. I replied back 'Sorry...what??' and my doctor then repeated that I was indeed pregnant. I didn't say anything, I couldn't get the words out, but I turned to Kerry to see her reaction. She tried to hide what I would describe as the biggest smile ever! She looked so happy but I couldn't take in what was said. I felt numb. My whole life was now about to change...

Months later, after telling everyone my news, I finally felt excited but scared. I may only have been 19 years old when I found out but I knew that I could only do my best and make the most of it. I started to show a 'baby bump'..

At this stage in my pregnancy I separated from my boyfriend, the baby's dad, who I will refer to as J. I felt unbelievably heartbroken by this but if we had stayed together then it wouldn't have been healthy for us or the baby that we were expecting. J is a little bit younger than me and because of this he felt more scared and nervous about the baby, which is totally understandable. Unfortunately we had little contact during the pregnancy but if anything serious were to ever happen then he was just a phone call away.

I had quite an easy pregnancy. There wasn't any major concerns. I stayed healthy, and I still attended college everyday. And as the months went by the baby bump got much bigger..

Caley 💜

When Anxiety Started To Take Over My Life - Part 2

Secondly...

I wanted to do a post on anxiety as I know we have all suffered from it at some point and I wanted other people to know that, most importantly, you are not alone, and also that it can be treated.

My own experiences were unbearable. Horrible. I just wanted to hide...

My anxiety started when I was around 15, coming on 16 in the December. I was at high school. My Nana had passed away in the September the year before.

Growing up my Nana was my second Mother. My Nana was my Dad's Mum. She was the only person I felt like I could talk to at times and when she passed away I felt like I had lost everything.

I was sitting doing maths one day and couldn't quite understand what we had to do. My teacher repeatedly went over the work with me and for some reason I couldn't take anything in. For just under an hour I sat there and just doodled all over my page. I was normally a hard worker and would always try but this time I couldn't. My teacher walked over to me and said "Can I speak with you outside please Caley?" I was worried that I was going to get in so much trouble for drawing all over my page and not concentrating but once we got outside she asked what was going on and I explained that I didn't know. I just couldn't concentrate. She kind of gave me a telling off and thought that I was being lazy that day.

Once I was seated back at my desk next to my classmate, Brian, I instantly felt 'not good enough' my confidence was completely wiped away from me and by the time I had re-read over my notes for the task the bell had rung and it was time to leave. It was lunch time. The time where my friends and I would have a laugh and carry on and gossip. 

When I got to the lunch hall I couldn't find my friends anywhere. I suddenly felt very warm and sweaty. I took my jacket off and looked around for my friends but I couldn't find them still. We used to sit in a big group so I though 'Surely someone will be here in just a minute' but as time went on they still hadn't showed up. 'I've done something wrong to them. They all hate me' I worried.

After 10 minutes of waiting in the usual place and still my friends hadn't appeared I started to really panic. I could hardly breathe and then out of nowhere I burst into tears and couldn't stop. My heart was racing and I thought that everyone had been looking at me and talking about me so I walked out of school and skipped the rest of my school day.

The next day though, my friends had reminded me that we were supposed to meet elsewhere for lunch and because I completely forgot, I suffered from my first panic attack. My first of many. It was horrible thinking back to how I felt the day before but being with my friends helped me to feel at ease. I hadn't done anything wrong and they certainly didn't hate me either!

For the next few weeks after this episode I was always wary about plans. I had to know what was happening for reassurance.

One morning before school I had just got my coat on and opened the front door but slammed it shut. I couldn't leave the house. I'm not sure what caused this but I felt like the whole world was against me. I felt a sense of panic and extreme fear. I had to pretend to my Mum that I was ill so that she would let me stay home. She did but every single day after that I had the feeling of being trapped. Being trapped in my own home.

For years, even after I had left school, the anxiety stopped me from living my life and going out. I couldn't face being on my own. I didn't like using public transport even if I was with friends and family. I hated even calling people on the phone. The thought of even walking outside on my own terrified me. I was trapped in my own mind. A prisoner in my own home.

When I had my son, the anxiety seemed to have gotten a little better but it hadn't gone and I was so fed up of having the anxiety control me and my life. It stopped me from going out which then ended up in me losing some friends as they thought that I just didn't want to be around them. Of course I wanted to hang out with my friends but my anxiety took over and left me too scared in case another panic attack happened. 

I decided that enough was enough and I went to see my doctor. He explained that I had social anxiety and then I was put on medication to help control it. I was to take the medication for just 3-4 months and then go back and see him to make sure that things were okay. They weren't. 

I still felt the exact same and I knew that nothing happens overnight or in just a few weeks but I was so determined to fight this and not let it beat me anymore. I constantly felt like I was drowning and I was severely fed up. I told him how I felt so he suggested CBT - one of the bests thing I have ever done!!

I kept going to CBT appointments for a year and it helped me to become me again. I finally felt free from the anxiety and the everyday struggles that I faced all the time. 

If anyone with really bad anxiety needs help then I would recommend going to your doctor and asking for more information on CBT or by clicking on this link:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-cbt

Just mostly importantly remember - you are not alone and there is help and advice out there for people struggling. 

It is definitely okay not to be okay 💓

"You are stronger than you seem, braver than you believe and smarter than you think you are"

Caley 💜

** All images are taken from Google images **

When Anxiety Started To Take Over My Life - Part 1

Firstly.....

What even IS anxiety?
Anxiety is the feeling we get when we become unsure, worried or scared of something. Anxiety may be experienced if you are sitting a test/exam, starting a new job/school, meeting new people, or even by having a baby or planning on getting married.

What are the symptoms of anxiety?

• Nausea
• Breathing faster
• Crying
• Thinking about negative outcomes
• Headaches
• Difficulty sleeping
• Feeling that others are looking/talking about you
• Feeling trapped in your own thoughts and mind
• Fatigue
• Not being able to fully concentrate on something
• Cancelling plans with friends/family 
• Continuously seeking reassurance
• Eating too much or too little
• Unmotivated to shower, tidy the house, do work tasks etc.

What Can Cause Anxiety?

• History of traumatic experience(s) - bullying, domestic violence, abuse
• Long term health conditions that may restrict opportunities for you
• Our genes - we are 5 times more likely to experience anxieties if our family members have too.
• Over activity in the brain that involves emotions and behaviour
• Using drugs and/or alcohol 

Treatments For Anxiety

• Exercising on a regular basis
• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
• Yoga
• Decreasing the amount of caffeine we have each day. 
• Talking to someone you trust can also help some people with their anxiety

There are more options available depending on what type of anxiety the person is experiencing. Help is also available on line too.

• https://www.mind.org.uk/ 
• https://www.moodcafe.co.uk/ 

Caley 💜

** All pictures taken from google images **

The Reason I Decided To Write A Blog - Again!

Hi Guys,

Some of you may not know this but this is actually my second blog. 

My first blog was full of pages but as I'm now older, and have changed, (in a good way of course) I feel that it would be best to start a new and better blog as my opinions on things have now changed as I've grown up.

My last blog was published just because I enjoyed writing and being creative. I had lots of ideas and interests that I wanted to share with anyone who was willing to read my blog. 

This time, however, even though I still love writing, I want to now share my experiences, thoughts, ideas, tips and just anything in general really. I want to be open and honest about things even more. 

With my last blog, I spoke openly about my health conditions (I will explain all of these later) but by being honest and putting my personal life out there, which was scary to do, turned out to be a good thing. 

I had lots of people messaging me to say that they had been through something similar, or some people had never known much about it but did now, or sometimes people asked for advice. The person knew someone going through the same thing and wanted to help them.

This really made me emotional - in a nice way. I mean so many people were saying "Thank you for speaking up and raising awareness." I also got a message saying "Thank you for helping me to look after my friend properly. Your advice really helped not just me but also her." 

Even if 1 person told me that I had helped or supported them through a bad time then I would be so happy with that. I am a really caring person and I always want people to do well, regardless. 

Having this new blog will help me to speak more openly, and honestly again but also as I am now older, I understand things better, my opinions on certain things have changed and my own personal interests have changed too. 

I can't wait to add more to this blog and hopefully help people along the way too.

I am always a message away if anyone would like to ask any questions etc.

Caley 💜

All About Me

All About Me

If you haven't already worked it out from the name of this blog ('The Daily Caley') then my name is infact, Caley 😀. A lot of people pronounce my name wrong and most of the time I'm too polite to correct them on it.

It's pronounced - Kay-Ley, (Kayleigh). I've been called Kah-Ley, or Carly. It's rare that people get it correct but I'm now just so used to being called Kah-Ley.

I get a lot of people asking me about my name but the truth is I actually like the spelling of my name as it's not very common.

I am 26 years old and I currently live in Glasgow, Scotland, but I grew up in Falkirk and also Linlithgow. 

I have a little boy who is 6 years old and his name is Jamie.

In September of this year, I am marrying my best friend, and love of my life, Stephen.

I won't give too much away about me just yet as I will post more later.

I hope you all enjoy this blog as much as I like writing it! 

Caley 💜